The Hidden Gift in Unwanted Change

The day my younger son left home for college, the house became unbearably quiet. Not the peaceful kind of quiet. The echoing kind.

I stood in the hallway outside his bedroom and felt something inside me squeeze in pain. God, I missed him and his brother. My two sweet boys. They were both away at school now and thriving and I was so grateful that they each had found a college they loved and a solid group of friends around them.

But the rhythm that had shaped my life for decades — school schedules, sports games, grocery lists built around growing boys — was suddenly gone. And the so-called “Empty Nest Syndrome” hit me like a truck. I longed to hear about their daily experiences and see their handsome faces every day.  But I knew of course that was not realistic, nor would it be fair to intrude that way on their new independence and growth as they began their way in the world.  And while it didn’t occur to me right away, later I came to see that beneath the ache of missing them was something harder to admit: part of my sadness was that I was mourning my role as their mom.

For so many years, “Mom” was not just something I did. It was who I was. My purpose. My structure. My identity. Every decision flowed through that role. Every day was shaped by it. And when they left, it felt as though a part of me had been taken with them.

At first, I labeled the change as loss and as something negative. It was an ending I wasn’t ready for and a role that I loved and grieved.  In my work with Past Life Healing, I see this often. As human beings, we grasp onto roles — mother, caretaker, provider, rescuer, healer — and over time those roles fuse with our identity. In some lifetimes we may have lost children. Lost homes. Lost security. Lost status. Those memories live in the Soul. So, when a role dissolves in this lifetime, it can sometimes feel like a small death because an old imprint is being activated. But when we recognize this, healing becomes possible.

The Void Can Be Agonizing But It Is There For A Reason

There is an uncomfortable phase that comes after any major identity shift which can feel like a void or a Dark Night of the Soul. The old role has fallen away, but the next phase hasn’t yet emerged.

I wandered through the house in that space. I questioned my purpose. I felt invisible at times. Uncertain. I searched for anything to ease the ache in my chest and fill the yawning gaps in my calendar. The void was agonizing. But I know now that it was also incubation and reorganizing before the next phase of my life came in.

Clearing Space For What’s Next

With fewer daily demands at home, I was forced to be with myself. Who was I and what was my Purpose? The pain of the void pushed me to step beyond my previous comfort zone. I started taking classes in Past Life Healing and Tarot. I read voraciously. I attended sound baths, yoga classes, and spiritual gatherings. I met people who shared my curiosity about metaphysics and healing. I searched for answers to my struggles and meaning behind them. Through Dolores Cannon’s Quantum Healing Hypnosis Therapy, I discovered the source of painful triggers in my current life. Once I knew why my empty nest experience was so devastating to me in this life, the pain immediately began to ease.

And over time, my life filled again. I now have friends who are open-minded to spirituality and metaphysics, and my calendar is full of get togethers that bring me joy and fill my cup. My relationship with my sons continues to grow and they are still my favorite people in the world. And alongside that, the spiritual side of me is continuing to expand.

If Something Is Leaving Your Life

If a role is dissolving in your life right now, consider pausing before you label it as negative. Ask yourself: What might this be making room for? What part of me is ready to emerge? What old attachment is being gently loosened? (This is not to take away from the fact that many times the in-between space feels unbearable, believe me I know that agony.) But if you are feeling sorrow about something that is no longer in your life, consider looking at it like this: If something has fallen away, it has completed its purpose. And something new is already on its way.

AND, if you are navigating a very difficult transition and sense that deeper karmic patterns may be influencing your grief or fear, Past Life Healing can gently illuminate the roots beneath the surface — and help you step into what is waiting to emerge. Maybe your life is not unraveling. Maybe like mine, it is expanding instead?